Stellar parenting..

Brody has now entered what to me is his most annoying phase to date. And, sadly, I think I may have caused it.

So 2 months ago, we (me and my herd of children) went to Robin's brothers. They have, in the store, a play area for kids because apparently people buying engagement rings need something to occupy their children...to each their own, but just sayin'.

Seconds upon wandering into the store, Brody ran off for the play area. I picked up my newly sized engagement ring I haven't worn since before my feet and hands grew 100 sizes (Thank you pregnancy), and we left.

We only walked for about 4 minutes down the mall before I yelled "Where is Brody?" And the J's and I proceeded to stare with wide eyes, and all 3 of us were trying to figure out what the F had happened to him. Finally the IB student proclaimed "OMG we left him in the store!" (Brownie points for him for having an answer!). He bolted back to get him and I ran pushing the stroller behind him and there was my Brody. Crying hysterically in the arms of the angry Robins brothers associate. Jesse, walked up to her and grabbed Brody and ran back out the door.

wow did we all feel stupid.

Don't worry if your thinking I am an a-hole parent. My payback is here in the form of the above mentioned "worst phase ever".

Consequently now, if I go into the bathroom, or the kitchen or anywhere that is not right next to him, he will freak out. "Mom, what are you doing?" "Mom, where are you going?" "Mom," "Mom" "Mom" and he typically can be found wrapped around my feet while I am trying to walk.

I am really hoping this is a normal phase for all kids that will pass quickly because the alternative is that I have scarred him for life...

$$

In this nerve wracking time right now that I am awaiting my fate with school and the necessity of my geting a job immediatley, I have to say...

Swagbucks how I love you.

With my school, I spend about 5 hours a day searching the internet. I use swagbucks to search, earn swagbucks, and then save them up for gift cards.

My favorite being the amazon.com gift card.

I usually seem to earn a gift card every other week for doing nothing but working on school.

Swagbucks


At least it makes school good for something right now.

I was able to get myself some reference materials for school and some hardcore hand healing lotion for free. Thank you Amazon Prime, for your free 2 day shipping.

Lately, I have become obsessed with coupons.

The $350.00 a week grocery bill was not working out anymore. And, that 350.00 didn't even include any meat!

So, yes, I am that girl now. But I tell you what, I have cut the bill down to about $150.00 - $200.00 a week.

And the checker even complimented me. Hey, I am surrounded by kids ALL day and married to Mike, I will take a compliment from a stranger.

This savings has inspired me to put more time and effort into buying things, and seriously, I am horrified at how much money I have wasted in my life.

It takes 30 seconds to search (using swagbucks) for printable coupons to wherever your going....

Tract houses

Most people live in homes near others. In fact, I have never heard of driving to your neighbors house unless you live in Nebraska. But whatever.

Needless to say, we do. Drive to our neighbors that is.

We are also surrounded by endless weeds. So what if our entire housing area flooded with rain. This produces nothing more than...weeds.

These weeds dry out...and produce dead weeds. This combined with heat produces fire- If provoked.

Okay, enough higher education science.

All of this BS equals an unnecessary fear of my house burning down.....

Fair.

We live on 2 1/2 acres of dirt, weeds and crap surrounding our small house of "valuables" Please know I use that term loosely.

So, anytime some A-hole has a fire at his house, I feel as though the death of our pile of house is near.

For instance, as I sit here typing, I smell fire.

Do I either A) wait for the demise of my household or B) Make a drink and sit on the deck watching the firetrucks try to find their way around here?

I chose C) none of the above - instead do your schoolwork online and pretend you don't smell it but really you are dying to go outside an investigate because you cannot take it any longer.......and it is only a matter of time before you actually do.

But really, given my people around here, the real story is probably something only some could image.

That age old question

How can one like milk on cereal 4 out of 7 days a week? And also, how does one figure out which 4 days those might be?

Interestingly Brody will talk nonstop about everything in the world all day every day, but this is an answer he will never tell.

And he is very wise with it to - he keeps me on my toes. For example this morning he said "Mom, may I have some chocolate cereal with milk on it and a big spoon?"

Ah yes, one might think from hearing this that he wants milk, but alas upon setting his bowl of the above mentioned treat in front of him this morning, I realized he really didn't want milk....and so did all of my "neighbors".

Because I am mean, I refused to take it back and give him something else until it turned into clay - Which BTW didn't actually take as long as I was hoping so it kind of lost its effect....

Can't wait to see what tomorrow's breakfast will bring!

Undiscovered Talent

the other day, Mike was in our restroom. typically I would rather hop in my car and drive the the Shell station down the road than venture into my kids bathroom.

You see, I am a true believer in the fact that when you leave a restroom, whether it be to shower, or wash hands, or pee and then wash hands, you should always come out cleaner than when you went in.

Apparently my children disagree.

Because I can be nice to my kids at times, I decided I would clean their bathroom for them. Maybe I was delirious while making this decision or beyond ecstatic that they are back in school again..I don't know.

But the exciting discoveries I found in there inspired me to Blog again.

I mean, the trash can filling was more complicated than solving a Rubik's cube. I am fairly certain that to put the toothpaste box in there, someone had to remove trash, reorganize and put the trash back in.

And the way someone used the salicylic acne treatment to tie die the carpet and towels!! How artful!

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I am also certain that when asked about it, no one that lives in my house did it.

Fun blows to the mom ego...

Having worked at a pumpkin patch for years, myself (9 years to be exact), I always thought I should avoid busy days, the busiest of which being the Saturday a week before Halloween.

But then again, that was coming from an employees perspective......

So you can imagine my sheer joy upon arriving and Tanaka Farms yesterday and seeing 40 school buses. Ah, yes. It RAINED last week postponing last weeks field trips until today...ALL of them.

I instantly go into panic mode and start proclaiming all of the things we won't be doing.

My mom is in a drug-like calm state. "Christy, it won't be bad! We have to do the train! What are you talking about"

Thank god Harlee fell asleep in the chest carrier immediately upon getting on the wagon ride. Even if wearing her rose, my body temperature at least 852 degrees and even though she weighs at least 60 pounds.

Brody really enjoyed the petting zoo. And petting all 82 animals. Every last one of them.

MOM blow #1: Apparently in OC it is some requirement to have a camera bigger than your head.

Potty training a 3-1/2 year old is another thing everyone should have on there bucket list. Especially one who is as smart as my kid. He plays a game and he wins. The first day of the 908th attempt to potty train, he pee'd on the living room floor. (The tile - not carpet - he does have some class...) so I force him to go to the bathroom, which apparently is his version of hell, and sit on his truck toilet. This just really pisses him off because apparently we both have better things to do. Him: Play-doh; Me: Clean up yet another accident on the floor.  I ignore this poor behavior and continue to laugh and sing while counting to 10 louder than his yelling, and when I release him from my death grip I have on him and the toilet, I praise him with excitement at being so good for sitting on the potty. (never mind what I am thinking in my head). He stands up, stares at me and smiles......................while peeing on the floor next to the toilet.

MOM Blow #2: Outsmarted by a 3 year old.

Update: He has now announced that he will use the toilet "Maybe later" but he will pee outside. Because we are full of class and I am over diapers........I have agreed. So, we are 3 for 3 in the peeing outside deal. Regardless, I *think* this is a step in the right direction?

Another one of my favorite things is when strangers stop to give you random advice on how to care for your child.

Example #1: Jesse was carrying Harlee in her infant carrier (A job we often passed on to him since he is in football and weigh training). You know, the one with 1 handle, to hold onto, where basically the only way to carry a baby wrong is to hold the carrier upside down? And some dear sweet lady took the time to stop her car in the middle of the road, roll down her window and say "That is NOT how you CARRY A BABY!!!!!!!!" to him. I was so sad she rolled her window up so quickly and drove off at the speed of light, as I would have loved to stay and "chat" with her. 

Example #2: Brody thinks shopping carts are jungle gyms and no amount of threatening, yelling, spanking, ect will keep him from hanging over the edge of one. Look, my kid is crazy, he is a dare devil, and it is what he does....I don't like his shopping cart antics, but I only have a 10 minute window in any given store before Harlee screams at the top of her lungs....so I need to get in and out. I don't have the extra 5 hours to spend ripping my son a new one....so I have chosen the parenting technique of "let him learn".  So, it makes me so happy when random strangers stop by my car while my son is hanging upside down from his knees to tell me "Be careful and watch your son! He is going to get hurt!!"

Example #3: See above example for a reminder on Harlee and her 10 minute max in any store. We go to the Carter's outlet where everything is ugly, but I need some sleepers. We pass above 10 minute window, and like clockwork, she starts up. I half try to make her happy, as does my mom, who is watching her while I shop. She just ate half a bean burrito, and some crackers. She napped at the pumpkin patch...But I know my daughter. 10 MINUTE MAX IN A STORE! I go over the the stroller to remove her and while I do this, unbeknownst to me, some kind lady is giving my mom tips. "She is hungry" the kind lady says. My mom instantly goes into bitch mode "No she is not" "Yes she is"

"No she is not, she is tired" my mom finishes with

But lady is not finished with my mom and then proceeds to call her out on "having her out while she should be at home napping"

Mom blow #3: Raising 5 kids between the 2 of us, we still don't know what is wrong with a crying almost 1 years old.

The week in Food

4 Loaves of bread
2 pounds of turkey lunch meat
1 pund ham lunch meat
4 giant cans of tuna
1 container of miracle whip
7 tomatoes
5 onions
2 heads lettuce
13 pounds of frozen vegtables
10 pounds of beef
3 pounds of chicken
1 box instant brown rice
2 boxes of cereal
1 box nutragrain bars
7 string cheese
1 box frozen waffles
4 gallons of milk
1 jug cottage cheese
1 block cheddar cheese
1 pack of 30 tortillas
35 pieces of fresh fruit
21 lunch size bags of chips

Not to mention all the random items to prepare the above into an actual meal.

Really? I am still waiting for the thank you card from Stater Bros for keeping them in business.